Short Story: Night Shift

"This isn't the Gropers I used to know." The words left the mouth of the deceased standing in front of the meat case. I offered a conciliatory apology, but the thing had already reanimated and was pushing itself away on its six legs, four of metal and two of bone. 

    I can't fucking stand most of our customers. Sorry we were out of the thick cut applewood smoked bacon, the new shipment will probably get here in the next week. And it's not like there weren't other options for thick cut applewood smoked bacon, there were plenty in fact. Just not her brand. And the way that hag said it too, like it was my fault that we were out of her bacon. And she said it so pitifully, like that thick cut bacon was the only thing that gave her life meaning. Whatever, I doubt she'll be around much longer anyways. 

    To be honest, I don't know if i'll be around here much longer either. I can't fucking stand most parts of this job. I was literally just walking out of the break room to go and re-attach myself to the prison of my cash register when this decrepit old woman decided to interrogate me as to why there was none of her favorite bacon. And it's not like it's the first time I've had to deal with stuff like that. There was the time I had some geezer come up to me and demand I make a cake cheaper for them. Not for any particular reason, but just because they didn't want to pay six dollars for a cake. But five was fine. Thanks for making my day worse, cu...

    "Howdy hey brother! You done with your break yet?" The cannabis-infused voice came out from behind me, along with a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at the owner of the hand, my supervisor Andrew.

A man who looked like the distilled essence of his consumptions: Cannabis, caffeine, and a lack of calories. The store's uniform t-shirt swathed his skeleton frame in corporate clothing; the red mesh of his supervisor's vest screaming his arbitrary position to all around him.  His unkempt, brown hair was tamed by a band of rubber, tying his hair into a ponytail trailing down the back of his neck. Baggy dark green cargo pants covered his legs, accompanied by patched and faded leather moccasins. Thin metal-framed glasses perched on his nose, behind his dark brown eyes stared out. He always had that heavy-lidded, glass-eyed look like he was high, but I could never tell if he was actually high or if that was just his personality at this point. Either way, he was pretty chill and not too bad at his job. He wasn't nearly as high strung as some of the other supervisors, which made my job easier. I'd rate him an 8/10 overall. 

    "Yeah, I just got done, I still need to clock back in though". 

    "Cool, cool. That's good. I'm about to clock out here in a few minutes and wanted to make sure you were ready for your first late night closing shift". I nodded, not really saying much. I wasn't really worried about it; it wasn't like that many people came into shop after like 10pm and I imagined the checklist of tasks I had to do to close would be pretty self explanatory. I was really just more frustrated that I had to stay up late working here instead of staying up late playing video games, watching youtube, or doing literally nothing. 

I guess making money was more useful, but I really still would rather be doing nothing. 

    "i'll meet you back up front once you clock back in and go over everything with you".

I nodded as his hand slipped off my shoulder and he strode through the swinging doors into the back of the store. I wiped my shoulder and headed to the front of the store. 

"So that's about the last thing I gotta go over with ya, but make sure that you got all of the coins organized in the drawers for sure. Jeanine in the morning crew gets really pissed when they're not and she causes way too much trouble over it. Annoying as hell, so I just put the coins in their right place so I don't have to deal with it."

I nodded for the 50th time. The late night closing shift was just as boring and mundane as I thought it would be. Though, there were more shitty little details than I had expected. Somehow. I was ready for a lot of shitty little details, but it seemed that every task on closing shift had all sorts of little nuances that if I didn't do would bring down the wrath of some irate first shift worker. They liked everything to be in place, and were ready to throw any overnight staff under the bus, least so it seemed. But what I had gathered from the few times I had interacted with the first shift workers as I was coming in definitely made me believe everything Andrew said. 

    Considering I had gotten yelled at by one for not having my shirt tucked in when that wasn't even a store policy, they were the kind of people to try and write you up for not organizing the change drawer. 

    Andrew checked his watch. "Before I head out, one last thing I gotta mention. Thursday's, especially this time of month, are a little bit different than usual." He turned to look at me with a serious look that I hadn't seen him wear before. We had gone over a lot of stuff that would have been considered serious by any other rule-obsessed wage slave, so I wasn't really sure what kind of stuff Andrew would consider to be serious enough for him to drop his normal go with the flow vibes. He walked over and went behind the customer service desk. He rooted around for a few moments before he walked back over to my register where we had been talking. He carried a sheaf of lined paper and a black ballpoint-pen. Not even one of the clicky pens, but one of those super cheap stick pens. 

    He sat the stack down on the conveyor belt and began to scribble down a bunch of stuff. Almost like an arcane scholar, Andrew began to transcribe unintelligible words and letters, along with grotesque and complex drawings, from the sheaf of papers onto the single sheet. He would constantly look back and forth, eyes bouncing around like loose marbles. I craned my neck to try and get a glimpse of the forming script , but all I managed to see was a lot of bad handwriting and the occasional crude doodle of, well, something. After a minute or two of this strange ritualistic scribbling, Andrew straightened up and folded the single sheet of paper. The rest sheaf he kept by his side. He held the folded up bit of paper, wedged between two of his fingers, out to me. 

    "That should cover everyone who should show up tonight, plus a couple who like to show up whenever they feel like it. Don't worry too much, they tend to keep to themselves for the most part and are in and out of the store pretty quick." I took the piece of paper gently. My mind was racing with questions to ask, my mouth open slightly working away at the words which one I wanted to start with. By the time I had managed to choose a question to ask, Andrew had already walked away. 

    "Wait, what are you talking about? What's going to happen, who is going to come through tonight?" My voice carried over the empty checkout lanes, one random customer casting a glance at the noise. Andrew looked back at me and held out a thumbs up.

    "Just read the note and do what it says. It's nothing to worry about, you got this!" Andrew turned around, leaving me with a raised arm and a final note. "Good luck with your first night shift brother!"

    "Are you fucking kidding me. I don't get paid enough for this" I muttered to myself. I sighed and resigned myself to whatever bullshit this night would bring. I unfolded the bit of paper and began to decipher the script that Andrew called his handwriting. 

                        -------

By the time midnight rolled around, I was freaking out. First off, Andrew really could have taken some more time to write a bit neater; it took me forever to read his page of notes mostly because I had to decipher nearly every word on the page. Though, that wasn't the only reason that it took me forever to read it. The other reason it took me so long to read was the content. I thought it was a trick at first, though that illusion was quickly wiped away a bit after midnight, but we'll get to that in a moment. 

    Andrew's note was a scrawled list of names. Underneath each name was a basic description of the person, their habits in the store, what time they would come by, and any other notes about what I should do to make their time in the store better for them. Now, normally I would already find this creepy. It's one thing to take note of regular customers and what they like, but it's another to write all of those things down along with a personal description into a list that you give to employees rather than passing along that information via word of mouth or having the employee meet the regular customer themselves. 

    But, the thing that made this list simultaneously more and less creepy was the fact that I'm not really sure if 'person' is actually the right word to be using for those on this list. As I said earlier, I thought this was a joke. I thought they were playing a trick on me for my first night shift. I was ready to throw the sheet of paper away, but it was as I was having that thought that the first person on the list came through. 

    Like I mentioned earlier, it was just past midnight. List in my hand, me trying to decipher its arcane nature, when I heard the sliding doors whoosh open. I shoved the list in my pocket and did my best to look like I was awake and actually wanting to be there. There was no one at the door, or even anywhere near the door. I thought it was an accident, so I continued my reading. The door slid back shut, and then immediately back open. Close, open, close, open, close, open, the pneumatic doors cycling like they were possessed. I mean, for all I know at this point, they could have been. 

    I was becoming more and more freaked out and irritated by the doors when the first entry on the list flashed through my mind. 

    "Name: Henry. Description: unknown. Notes: Henry is very shy and does not like to be seen. He comes just after midnight most nights. You'll know he's there when the doors open a bunch and you don't see anyone there. Just turn around and count to 300. Then, turn back around and scan whatever items are on your belt. He normally brings his own bags with him, so fill those. If he doesn't bring his own, just use plastic. Once done bagging, turn back around and count to 300 again. He should be gone by then. If there is anything left on the belt, it's a gift from him :)"

    "What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck" I said to myself as i turned away from the entrance. I kept count in my head by the number of times I whispered to myself. By the time I turned back around, the words had become complete mush in my mouth, no semblance or logic behind them anymore. On the belt, its selections. A single king size kit-kat, a half gallon of whole milk, a box of honey nut cheerios, and a bottle of vitamins from the clearance section. My eyes flicked from side to side, searching for anything, any sign of a being. I knew "Henry" was shy but I still wanted to see if I could get a glimpse or anything of whatever it was that was buying these things. Nothing, nothing out of the ordinary. I scanned the items, the digital tone from the register punctuating each item I dropped into the plastic bag next to me. I finished and placed the bag up at the end of the belt. I turned back around, my mind still racing and my lips still moving to form some other words to express my amazement. 

    Another five minutes of murmured obscenities, I turned back around. Left on the belt was half of the king size kit-kat, cleanly cut right through the wrapper. I looked around, still searching for some other sign of this being that had just visited. I gingerly picked up the kit-kat and broke off one bar. The panic had subsided after the entire encounter had gone just like Andrew had written. Honestly, I was much more concerned about how it knew kit-kats were my favorite, or if he had just gotten lucky. 

    Alex came through at 1 am. They were much more fun than Henry, and not just because I was actually able to see them. I didn't see Alex come in, guess they don't need to use doors to get into the store, but I heard glass shatter in aisle 5. I made my way over and was greeted with an amorphous mass of black gas and tentacles floating over a bright red pool of pasta sauce. I'm not really sure how to say or describe this, but if this eldritch horror seemed to be... embarrassed? its floating mass curled up in on itself, with tentacles being afraid to dart out or move around, held in close to the center of mass. 

    "It's alright, not a big deal. I'll clean it up real quick for ya". I said, not sure where to look to make any sort of "eye" contact. Andrew's list didn't really say much about Alex, besides identifying him. Apparently he didn't really do much besides get in and get out of the store. Andrew called them "chill and relaxed. Just hanging out and doing some shopping". I guess even eldritch brass have to get groceries. I mopped up the mess and picked up the shards of glass. Alex had moved into the next aisle, browsing the pasta selection. Alex bought just shy of twenty boxes of angel's hair pasta before disappearing. 

    The rest of the night went smoothly. Jennifer, George, and Judy all stopped by. Jennifer was really nice to talk to, though the conversation was a bit hard to follow with all of her heads chiming in randomly or taking over the conversation without warning. I nearly strained my neck trying to maintain eye contact. George was very polite and kept apologizing constantly for making things slippery. I didn't really mind, I mean I understood his problem. It's kind of hard for things to not be slippery when you constantly secrete and or are made of slime. I couldn't tell which, and Andrew's list didn't really make it clear either. Judy kinda got on my nerves. Her constant soul-wrenching screaming and head shaking made checking her out annoying. But, I've dealt with boomers who made my head hurt worse. 

    I saw Andrew again a couple days later. 

    "Already working another night shift? I thought you might have been scared away" Andrew said with a smirk on his chapped lips. 

"I was definitely surprised," I said with a laugh. "But they really were all so much nicer than half of these guys" I said with a thumb gesturing to the various human customers walking around nearby.  Andrew and I shared a laugh. 

"Yeah, who would've guessed, huh? I feel like this is when some shitty movie producer would insert a joke about humans being the real monsters or some shit". 

"For sure. But really though, I'm much more excited to see all of those guys again than I am to work a normal shift". Andrew and I shared a knowing look, him nodding along in agreement. 

"Absolutely my guy. Though, I'd keep this just between you and me for now. A few other people know, too, but I'll introduce you to them later. Just don't say too much, don't want to freak anyone out. "

"Yeah, I had kind of already guessed that I needed to keep this on the down low. I figured that was why you chose the awkward, quiet, high school kid." Andrew and I shared another laugh.

"Well, you're right on that one. Besides, me, you, and those who come visit us may be weird but at least we're not assholes like these 'normal' people."

"Uggh, I can already feel another cheesy joke insert moment coming on." We both shook our heads slightly. "I'm excited to meet more of them, honestly. I enjoy working the night shift; much more entertaining for much less headache."

"Good, good. I'll see that you get more of 'em. Most of the time we introduce new people to the shift and we have to wipe their memory before we can let them go." My eyes bulged at that comment. Andrew noticed, but didn't give any other comment. 

"Ill get you a full copy of the notes here in a couple days. I don't think anyone new is supposed to show up tonight, but I'll check and see. Either way, welcome to the night shift my guy". Andrew said, holding his hand out. I shook it and smiled. 

"Happy to be here and ready for more"