but I have Vegetables in the fridge

In a dingy apartment complex, a dingy man sat at a small, rickety and dingy kitchen table. He sat in a dingy chair while the dingy air conditioning unit in the window behind him coughed and sputtered dingily. In front of him, on the dingy table, the man ate from a dingy plate with a dingy fork. The bent and dingy tines of the fork punctured holes into the glorious green flesh of a fresh piece of magnificently steamed broccoli. The produce had been cooked just so that its texture was that of firm yet tender, and its color was that of pure dark and light green; stem pretty in its pale shades of lighter green, while the florets loaded with chlorophyll were saturated in deep and rich darker shades. Wisps of steam coiled languidly up from the pile of perfect pieces of produce still on the plate. The gem suspended on the fork disappeared into the sallow mouth of the dingy man. 

The door of the apartment opened with a dingy creek and closed soon after with a echoing thud. An effervescent man walked into the kitchen and sat down at the rickety and dingy table. He wore a teal double breasted suit with black patent leather shoes and a matching teal tie. A glittering Rolex dangled heavily from his wrist, its golden body accenting the bits of gold implanted in the man's ears and the natural bits flecked in his hazel irises. The bubbles boiling off his personality kept the dust of dinginess from falling on him as it did his roommate. Least for now. 

"Hey man, you want to go out to the bars with me tonight? I can't remember the last time you came with me, and I got this guy who i've been talking you up to that really wants to meet ya." The effervescent man's eyes sparkled with excitement. As he talked, his perfect lips slid apart just enough to reveal the putrid swamp of green and black decay that was the inside of the effervescent man's mouth. Once finished with his proposition, he reached into the left breast of his suit and dug around for a moment before tossing something out of it into the gravesite of his oral hygiene. The dingy room began to reek of artificial spearmint. 

The dingy man chewed rhythmically, his eyes catching but not reflecting the excitement of his effervescent counterpart. He swallowed slowly, his throat bulging with bolus.

"Nah, I got vegetables in the fridge, can't let those go bad".

"But that's what you always say! C'mon man, lighten up for once. The vegetables won't go bad in just one night"

"But they could, and if they go bad I want to make sure I know exactly when so I can go get more. I don't want to get caught without vegetables in the fridge".

"Well, how about you just let me know when you get fresh vegetables and we can go out that night. Fresh vegetables don't go bad in one night, that at least is true." The dingy man nodded.

"But why would I go to the bars then?"

"What?"

"Why would I go to the bars if I have vegetables in the fridge? Vegetables are good for you, and if I already bought them I should eat them before they go bad. If I went to a bar, I would have to drink alcohol instead. And talk to people."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's rude to talk with your mouth full."

"Why would your mouth be full?"

"Because vegetables are good for you, and I need to eat them before they go bad. It may take more than one night for them to go bad, but I always buy more than one night of vegetables at a time."

"You could just not do that, and the night that you run out you go to the bar instead and then buy more the next day."

"That wouldn't work."

"Why not?"

"Because I wouldn't have any vegetables in the fridge, so I would need to go get more."

"But you could just go get more the next day, after you went to the bar."

"Yeah, but then I would have vegetables in the fridge, so I couldn't go cause I wouldn't want them to go bad." 

"But how would they go bad if you hadn't bought them yet?"

"I don't understand the question."

"If you bought the vegetables the day after you went to the bar, you wouldn't have to worry about them going bad."

"But then I wouldn't have any vegetables in the fridge, so I would have to go buy more."

"But then you couldn't go to the bar."

"Exactly, cause I have vegetables in the fridge. Now you're getting it!" The dingy man broke eye contact with his effervescent friend to look down at his plate. With the attention and actions of a surgeon, he speared another piece of broccoli and sent it along to catch up with the rest of its compatriots. The dingy man closed his eyes and chewed for a few moments before looking back up from his plate. The bubble where his friend was had burst, leaving behind nothing but the echo of the dingy door closing and the odor of artificial spearmint.